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How to get out of a Speeding Ticket
A rookie officer pulled over a guy who was speeding.
Officer, "May I see your license?"
Man, "It is not valid. It has been revoked 5 times."
Officer, "Well then can I please see the registration to the car?"
Man, "This is not my car. I carjacked it."
Officer, "Well open up the glove box and let me see who it is regitered to".
Man, "I can't open up the glove box, it has my loaded gun in there."
About this time the officer is reaching for his gun.
Officer, "Well what do you have a gun in the glove box for?"
Man, "Oh, I used to kill my wife who is stuffed in the trunk."
The officer calls for backup.
The police chief comes over and says, "Let me get this straight, you are driving on a license that has been revoked 5 times?"
Man, "No, Here, take a look,"
And sure enough it was valid.
Chief, "Okay, but you carjacked this car?"
Man, "No it is my car. let me get the registration out of the glove box and show you."
Chief, "But don't you have a loaded gun in there ?"
And sure enough there was no gun in there and the car belonged to the man.
Chief, "Well it is my understanding that you shot your wife and she is in the trunk."
Man, "No, let me open it for you."
And sure enough there was nobody in the trunk.
Man, "And let me guess, The lying son-of-a-gun probably told you I was speeding too!"