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Warning labels on Products (These are REAL!)

On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (Evidently, the shoplifter special)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how. . . ?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." (But it's *just* a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down". (Oops, too late!)

On Marks Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (As night follows the day....)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save even more time?)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (One would hope)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (I gotta admit, I'm curious).

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". (NEWS FLASH)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company I blame parents for this one).

On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to operate chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?...Good grief)

On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use on food." (Hey Mom we're out of syrup! It's OK honey just grab the Palmolive!)

On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: "If swallowed contact poison control." (Oh please have you ever heard about someone dying from swallowing a little toothpaste?)

On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: "Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine." (Hey no more swimming in the washing machine kids....Aww you mean we have to use the swimming pool?)