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WARNING: May Contain Adult Content. Parents are Cautioned

July 31, 2004


MAN PLAYING WITH PENCIL
ERASES OWN FACE!

43 year old Floppy Johnson was rushed to the hospital at 10:00pm Friday July 30th after he accidentally erased his own face with a pencil style eraser. He is currently in critical condition at Hell's Pass Hospital and is expected to stay that way.

Authorities have been quoted as saying, "This problem is not as rare as you'd think, we actually had 17 face-erasings in the past two months". "Just last week, a group of teen-agers were playing with erasable ink pens and wiped their eyebrows clean off.

Although last week it was teen-agers, this problem is more common in middle-aged men. Psychaitrists believe that it's related to the fact that most middle-aged men are tired of looking at themselves in the mirror every morning, and decide they want to see something different.

News casters interviewed Floppy Johnson, he was quoted as saying, "MMMMPH MMMMM MMMMMPH MMMOH PHMMM HHMMMMM!!!!!". Whatever that means.