Mike Golden Spoofs
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|WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
|Who Mourns for Adonis?
|"Come on. Get the pink crystal. Get the pink crystal."||"I'm this week's blonde you've never seen before and never will again."||"Ya know, I'd like ta tie ya up and spank ya 'til your butt turned as red as my shirt."
"Mr. Scott, you're such a charmer."
|"Scotty must have a thing for blondes."
"So do I, Bones. And redheads and brunettes."
|"Mr. Sulu, Are you watching 'Addams Family' again?"
|"Yo. How the hell are ya?"||"Oh, baby! He's as beautiful as a Greek god."||"Lt., control yourself."|
|"Captain, I believe a trip down to the planet is in order."
"Yes, and we should take a blonde with us."
|"Welcome. I am Apollo. Really I am. Seriously."||"You don't look like much of a god to me."|
|"How about now?"||"Uh oh. She's getting blurry, Jim."||"All you have to do is love me and I will give you eternal life. It's that simple."|
|"Love me and I will tell you stories of old. I will tell you of
when mighty Zeus cast the fair-haired troublemaker Ate off Mount
Olympus and banned her from returning."
"Heard it. Homer wrote about it in The Iliad."
|"Your god commands you to pull his finger."||"Now, you'll have to excuse me. I have over two thousand years to catch up on."|
|"I hope he means me."||"Don't worry. I have a plan."||"Don't move or the cracker gets it."|
|"Mr. Spock, what do you think our chances are?"||"Let's see. If I rollover now and take
a depreciation over the next quarter then diversified. . . ."
|"Stay with me and I'll tell you stories of the mighty Amazons."
"No need. I've read Strabo."
|"You make me laugh."||"Apparently."||"Kiss me and I will tell you of life in the ancient world."
|"This is a tape I made last week."||"I command you to sing no more until you learn how."|
|"Did you really expect anybody to like that God-awful racket?"||"How are the repairs coming, Lt.?"||"Well, your thumb isn't helping matters any."|
|"Sorry. It's been almost seven years."||"Okay, Apollo. Smile for the camera."||"Is it true what they say about the anatomy of a male god?"|
|"Kill the wabbit."||"I wonder if it would have hurt us to gather just a few laurel leaves."|
|"And I only had two more payments to go."|