Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
Who Mourns for Adonis?
"Come on. Get the pink crystal. Get the pink crystal." "I'm this week's blonde you've never seen before and never will again." "Ya know, I'd like ta tie ya up and spank ya 'til your butt turned as red as my shirt."
"Mr. Scott, you're such a charmer."
"Scotty must have a thing for blondes."
"So do I, Bones. And redheads and brunettes."
"Mr. Sulu, Are you watching 'Addams Family' again?"
"No, sir."
"Yo. How the hell are ya?" "Oh, baby! He's as beautiful as a Greek god." "Lt., control yourself."
"Captain, I believe a trip down to the planet is in order."
"Yes, and we should take a blonde with us."
"Welcome. I am Apollo. Really I am. Seriously." "You don't look like much of a god to me."
"How about now?" "Uh oh. She's getting blurry, Jim." "All you have to do is love me and I will give you eternal life. It's that simple."
"Love me and I will tell you stories of old. I will tell you of when mighty Zeus cast the fair-haired troublemaker Ate off Mount Olympus and banned her from returning."
"Heard it. Homer wrote about it in The Iliad."
"Your god commands you to pull his finger." "Now, you'll have to excuse me. I have over two thousand years to catch up on."
"I hope he means me." "Don't worry. I have a plan." "Don't move or the cracker gets it."
"Mr. Spock, what do you think our chances are?" "Let's see. If I rollover now and take
a depreciation over the next quarter then diversified. . . ."
"Stay with me and I'll tell you stories of the mighty Amazons."
"No need. I've read Strabo."
"You make me laugh." "Apparently." "Kiss me and I will tell you of life in the ancient world."
"This is a tape I made last week." "I command you to sing no more until you learn how."
"Did you really expect anybody to like that God-awful racket?" "How are the repairs coming, Lt.?" "Well, your thumb isn't helping matters any."
"Sorry. It's been almost seven years." "Okay, Apollo. Smile for the camera." "Is it true what they say about the anatomy of a male god?"
"Kill the wabbit." "I wonder if it would have hurt us to gather just a few laurel leaves."
"And I only had two more payments to go."