Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
The Apple
"Another successful beam down.
Don't you think so, doctor?"
"Really, Jim, do we have B. O. or what?" "I'd like to rip my clothes off and fuck his brains out like a wild animal."
"I vonder if I am allergic to anything here."
"WO! For God's sake, don't anybody light a match." "Mr. Chekov, there is something very interesting over that way."
"Something interesting?"
"That man makes me so angry sometimes I could just. . . ."
KABOOM! "Aye, that lass was angry." "Captain, I found a rock."
"A rock? That's odd."
"Captain, I really don't appreciate being used as a pin cushion." "Looks like it might rain." "A village."
"And where there's a village, there
are native girls."
"Are you the leader of this planet?" "Ja, fer sure."
"This is our god Lol." "Captain, that is nothing more than a rock face."
"The god of getting stoned."
"You know, I could kick your ass if I wanted to."
"If you don't mind, miss, this doesn't go well with my eyes." "Spock, ever notice we never beam down to a planet where everybody is naked?" "Stay here and keep watch. I'll be right back."
"Where's the captain going?" psssssssssss "Whatever you're doing down there, captain, it's wreaking havoc with the instruments up here."
"We're being watched. Let's kiss."
"If we're being watched, let's do more than just kiss."
"Adiskido harkken mürggen."
TRANSLATION: "You must not kiss. Kissing is a gateway to drinking beer then smoking."
"Flingis flarggen flürggen chop, chop, chop."
"Heavenly Father in the sky, why you poo poo in my eye?" "Please, you've got to let us out. We're even boring each other now." "Boy, I bet Scotty could hit the eye of a mosquito from orbit."
"I am your new god now. You will each step forward, kneel and kiss the back of my hand." "I dee-cla'e, Mr. Spock. Li'le ole me is plum outta breath from ou' adventu'e."