Mike Golden Spoofs
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|WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
|The Doomsday Machine
|"Captain, are you trying to look up
|"Uh, no, I'm not. Not to change the subject but, how about we go out sometime?"||"You men are pigs. Just because a woman doesn't wear underwear, you think she's easy."|
|"Oh, captain. Could you come here
for a moment? I need you."
|"Jim, you can do better than her."
"You know, there's something different about Lt. Uhura but I can't quite put my finger on it."
|"Captain, a disabled ship dead ahead."
"Scan for hitchhikers. Someone may need our help."
|"Mr. Spock, I hope we aren't about to put our lives in jeopardy again."||"Mmmmmaybe."||"My wife is going to kill me for putting a dent in the ship!"
"Decker, get ahold of yourself."
|"I was talking to a friend on the phone and something just shot out in front of me. I swerved and wrecked."||"Captain, shall we use our jumper cables or his?"||"That's it! That's what ran out in front of me!"|
|"Call the Humane Society and see if they'll send someone out to pick it
|"Commodore, we have State Farm on line one. Do you want to talk to them now?"||"Damn, the labels on these buttons are written in Japanese or something."|
|"I think we can get it ourselves."||"You can't be serious. That thing
could have rabies."
|"Captain, we're getting a wee lonely down here."|
|"I'll be right down."||"Mr. Spock, the cheesy special
effects aren't doing any good."
|"Okay, so I fell asleep on the job. Is that any reason to stick this thing in my ear?"|
|"Decker, let the Humane Society deal with it."||"One of these days they're going to have to put more toilets on these ships."||"I'm going out for a magazine and some cigarettes. Be right back."|
|"Oh, no! It's going to get me!"||"Maybe if it thinks I'm a mailman it'll chase me."|
|"To think I gave up a job gutting fish for this."||"This idea looked good on paper."||"That thing ate the other ship and died. Looks like we saved the universe again."|
|"Gives you a warm fuzzy, doesn't it?"|