Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
Day of the Dove
"If you see any Klingon ships, let me know immediately." "Will do."
"Hi, sailor. New in town?" "Get up. You sicken me." "Kirk, you are a very trying person."
"You can't blame me for trying."
"Cossack! You killed my brother Piotr." "Damn, Chekov. Let it go." "Well, what did you expect us to do? Beam you back down to the planet then leave? That wouldn't be much of an episode."
"Got us on a technicality." "Will there be ice cream on this mission, captain?" "So, you're a filthy Klingon bastard?"
"We must, we must improve our bust." "Captain, . . . ."
"Damn it, Lt.! Don't sneak up on me like that!"
"Let's see. What goes with this outfit?"
"COMING THIS FALL TO UPN: STAR TREK: THE MOD SQUAD." "Stop it, you two. We shouldn't be fighting amongst ourselves. Here, one of you pull my finger." "Somehow, I always imagined that I would be the one carried over the threshold."
"57, 58, 59." "Interesting. Whatever it is, it doesn't like Yanni."
"That means it's intelligent." "As much as it pains me to do so, I'm going to have to cover your mouth." "Stand back. You can't have her."
"Cap'n, you're not going to share her with your old mates?" "Cut it out, Kang."
"I'm trying to."
"Kirk, any chance you will ever use mouth wash?"
"N-n-n-naw." "Okay, while they're fighting, the three of us can slip behind the warp engines and make chotak." "I don't know what that is, Kirk, but have you tried blowing it out an airlock?"
"Thanks for the suggestion."