Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
The Enterprise Incident
"Did you draw these nude pictures of me? The proportions are all wrong. Go back and make me bigger." "I helped him draw those, sir."
"Well, then, you should have known better."
"No shit, Sherlock?"
"Sensors say there are Romulans aboard."
"They must have bought those at a Klingon yard sale."
"Enterprise, you are trespassing. Did you not see the Beware of dog sign?" "Sir, maybe we should have taken a right turn at Albuquerque."
"Captain, why are you always so against stopping and asking for directions?" "Hello? Still there, Enterprise?" "Greetings."
"You look pretty good for somebody that spent four hours getting made up this morning." "Captain, how are you on threesomes?" "This is my James Cagney impersonation. You dirty rat. I'm going to get you."
"This is my insane look."
****And a career is born.
"It's first and ten on the Titan's 45 yard line." "And the Titan's coach calls time out."
"Oh, yes! I love the way that makes my nips tingle." "So, Mr. Spock. Come here often?" "Wow, Mr. Spock. That's some grip you have."
"Yes, well, ::ahem:: practice makes perfect."
"Jim, I thought you were dead."
"Yes, last time it was you and I and Spock didn't know. This time it was Spock and I and YOU didn't know. It was Spock's idea."
"Captain, you've been spending too much time in the wind tunnel. Besides, it's just a name." "Spock, I want to get drunk and have sex with you."
"I know. I telepathically planted that in your mind."
"Mmm, that blue stuff was good but this orange stuff is killer." "I have a secret, Spock. I'm a hermaphrodite." "Enterprise, get me the hell out of here."
"Go check the antenna. I don't think we're transmitting anymore." "I don't know but something about this seems familiar." "Enterprise, are we reaching?"
"Hi, how you doing?" "Captain, I didn't notice it before but you are HOT." "Let's go make babies."