Mike Golden Spoofs
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|WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
|"Where is everybody. No, brass band, no ticker tape parade, no beautiful blondes with hot fondu."||"This cookie is, at least, a month old."
"Jim, is it oatmeal?"
|"Bor-ing! Let's watch Fear Factor."|
|"Finally, I get to make snow angels."||"Might as well listen to some jams."
Welcome to my nightmare. I think you're gonna like it.
I think you're gonna feel you belong.
|"Careful. She looks dangerous."||"Jim, I'd better examine her."
"No, Bones. As captain, I shouldn't ask any of my men to do something
I'm not willing to do myself."
|"She can't speak and tell us her name. What do we call her?"
"I've always been kind of partial to Spot."
"How's it going, eh?"
|I like to dream yes, yes, right between my sound machine
On a cloud of sound I drift in the night
Any place it goes is right
Goes far, flies near, to the stars away from here.
|"I think Spot likes you, Jim."
"Think I can get her to sniff my crotch?"
|"Bones, she's hurt."
"Dare you to touch it."
|"Eewwww!"||"Come on, Spot. Let's go some place more private."|
|"This doesn't look good."||"McCoy."||"Spock."|
|"Hey, now! Wait a cotton-pickin' minute!"||"I am so out of here."||"Heheheh This is cool. Heheheh"
"Huhuhuh Yeah, cool. Huhuhuh"
|"Now, to do my Tarzan yell and cause a herd of elephants to stampede through."||"Just hang loose for a minute, captain."
"You are so funny sometimes."
|"May I go to the bathroom?"|
|"He has a nice bod, eh?"
"Yeah, I bet he could keep us both warm, eh?"
|"Ah! Never mind."||::hhhhhh!::|
|"Okay, Spot. Play dead. That's a good girl. Now, sit up."|
|"You want me to do what?"||"I don't know what kind of kinky stuff y'all are into but, I have to tell
you, I'm good friends with Laura Goodwin."
|"Don't treat me, Jim. You'll discover my terrible secret."|
|"I bet you're fun at parties."||"Gotta go. Curling finals are coming on."
"Take care, eh?"
|"But, most of all, I missed Mr. Scott."
"Ah, ya making me blush."