Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
Patterns of Force
"Well, he wasn't down on that all desert planet. Let's try the next one. It's mostly water." "Explain again how a solid object can be sprayed through the skin." "They must be doing something right to have high definition TV on the street."
"Hate to stumble out of that building drunk some night."
"I see the Führer over there."
"No, he's over there."
"Vhere are your papers?"
"Dude, we just burned the last one."
"I can't see your ears but your eyebrows look mighty suspicious."
"Well, you see, he got his head caught in an automatic wheat thresher when he was a boy." "Remove your helmet." "I don't suppose you'd believe he's Chinese."
"Hmm, one prisoner with hair on his chest and one with vaseline." "Vaseline is for sissies."
"Breath mints, too, it would seem."
"How many fingers am I holding up?"
"Okay, you pass."
"In jail again, Mr. Spock."
"Yes, but, at least, we're not in Texas."
"That's not quite picking a lock but
it'll do."
"This is my Phil Hartman impersonation."
"Very nice. Now, do William Shatner." "In this scene, captain, you catch your wife in bed with another man." "Okay, let's set up to film Nazi Nymphos. How would you guys like to be actors?"
"Send McCoy down. This story needs some humor." "Doctor, the boots go so high up the leg to keep the pants clean while the Führer speaks." "Wots this, then?"
"The good doctor had a little too much schnots. I mean, schnapps." "Hi, how are ya!" "Then, when I was two, my cat Barney died. We flushed him down the loo."
"This looks like something out of Pirates of the Caribbean." "I think he's been drugged."
"Well, give him some more."
"If anyone needs to be excused, now is the time to say so." "Blimey, you blokes again?" "Mmm, nice and firm. Just the way I like it."
"I hate these curtains." "Beam us up, Scotty. We've done it again." "What I can't understand, captain, is how someone with a British accent was born on that planet."
"Just blank out your mind and don't think."