RIP-Factor
StarCrap
RIP-Factor
Mike Golden Spoofs
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WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
The Gamesters of Triskellion
"Hmm, that's odd. A mysterious energy spike just popped up. Eh, it's probably nothing." "I think Scotty has been dipping into the Romulan Ale again." "Just my luck. We beamed down in the middle of a street fight."
"Me have shaved chest, too. Me sexy as hell." "So, miss, come here often?" "You my little buddy. We get real close later."
"Great."
"Now that we're your prisoners, you probably want to do strange and unnatural things to us. Let the one
with the nice rack start with me."
"The captain is gone, Spock. Are you just going to sit there?"
"Dr. McCoy, did you know that your fly was open?"
"Okay, you're bigger but my chest is prettier."
"You know, you remind me of somebody. I keep thinking maybe someone in Starfleet but I can't quite think of who." "Spock, in some cultures an open fly
is an omen of good luck."
"Not when you're not wearing underwear."
"Kewl! It's not just a job, it's an adventure."
"We'd be out by now if Jesse Jackson was here." "Got to remember to carry my harmonica." "And, while I'm on the subject, I was not in the least bit impressed."
"I'm thirsty. Got milk?" "Don't worry about me, man. In 30 years I won't even be in this episode." "Think you're tough? I can lick you with both hands behind my back."
"Here. Drink this Pepsi. It'll make
you strong and good-looking."
"Me no concentrate. Me break up with girlfriend last night. She like Diet Coke, I like Pepsi."
"Did I mention that I like Diet Coke, too?"
"I need to rest."
"When I'm finished with you, you'll be able to go all night."
"Why should we worry? No one will care, girl." "Look at the stars so far away." "We've got tonight. Who needs tomorrow? We've got tonight, babe. Why don't you stay?"
"Wow! And he's a poet, too." "Doctor, you hike the ball to Mr.
Scott on three."
"Kewl! Your mouth is a transporter. If kissing you there sent us a few miles. . . . Hmm."
"I can't believe I'm arguing with three disembodied brains. You guys need to be in Hollywood." "We tried but they said a brain
without a body wasn't sexy enough.
So, they hired Rachel Welch."
"Now, all we do all day is sit in here and think of ways to hide from the mole people that live around the corner."
"You are kinky, Kirk. I like that." "I'd like to take you with me but there's just not enough room." "I'll wait here until you come back."