RIP-Factor
StarCrap
RIP-Factor
Mike Golden Spoofs
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WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
Turnabout Intruder
"She looks so natural." "I'm not dead yet."
"I knew you'd come." "Whenever a woman is on her back in bed I'll be there." "Care for a tic tac?"
"Oh, baby, this is going to be good." "I've never had sex with myself before."
"I've been invited to on numerous occasions." "Room for one more?" "Call Rampart and tell them to have an emergency team standing by."
::Snore:: "Do I sound like that when I sleep?" "Dear God, nurse! What happened to you?"
"I ran out of peroxide." "Everything's blurry. And not in a good way."
"Mr. Spock, you're looking very cute today." "Thank you, captain. You, also, are looking especially fetching." "I'm wearing new earrings."
"Why would I want to sit on your lap?" "Ever make it with another woman?" "Don't be shy, captain. You don't have anything I don't have."
"I did this morning."
"Just let me know when you want my feet in the stirrups." "I know you don't believe me but I'm really Captain Kirk." "Of course, you are. The lighting must be bad in this room."
"This woman is the REAL Captain Kirk." "Hmm, he makes alot of sense." "Why, thank you."
"You're quite welcomed." "What do you think, Chekov?"
"I think I vould like to bop the captain."
"What do you think, Doctor McCoy?"
"I think I'm going to need a vacation when this is all over."
"I don't guess anybody cares that I'm wearing new perfume." "What's the captain's shoe size?"
"Good one, Scotty. He wouldn't know that."
"10 and a half."
"Try 11." "If the captain is in a woman's body, does he use the toilet standing or sitting?"
::snicker::
"I've got some free time. Maybe we can discuss it."
"We've decided we like you better than the old captain."
"Let's get back to work then."
The Famous Final Scene
Bob Seger 1977

Think in terms
of bridges burned.
Think of seasons that must end.
See the rivers rise and fall.
They will rise and fall again.
Everything must have an end.
Like an ocean to a shore.
Like a river to a stream.
Like a river to a stream.
It's the famous final scene

And how you tried to make it work.
Did you really think it could?
How you tried to make it last.
Did you really think it would?
Like a guest who stayed too long, now it's finally time to leave.
Yes, it's finally time to leave.
Take it calmly and serene.
It's the famous final scene.

It's been coming on so long.
You were just the last to know.
Been a long time since you've smiled.
Seems like, oh, so long ago.
Now the stage has all been set
and the nights are growing cold.
Soon the winter will be here and there's no one warm to hold.

Now the lines have all been read and you knew them all by heart.
Now you move toward the door. Here it comes the hardest part.
Try the handle of the road. Feeling different, feeling strange.
This could never be arranged.

As the light fades from the screen. . .


from the famous final scene.