Mike Golden Spoofs
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|WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
|Let that be Your Last Battlefield
|"It looks just like one of our shuttlecraft."
"Bring it aboard."
|"Captain, Myrtle says you shouldn't do that. Her horoscope says to beware of strangers."||"Now loading old footage of shuttlecraft landing on the hanger deck."|
|"He was still unconscious when he was brought in so I gave him a sedative."||"Interesting. Half black, half white. He must truly be his own worst enemy."|
|"You people are weird looking."
"I know you are but what am I?"
|"Mr. Spock, I just remembered reading that there is a severe labor problem on Giena II. I wonder. . . ."||"Greetings, captain."|
|"Somebody call Batman. The Riddler's on the loose again."
::Oh, come on. You knew it was coming.::
|"Hmm, these smelling salts don't seem to be working."||"That could be the guy I'm looking for. Hard to be sure."|
|"Don't laugh at my ears."||"Just settle back. No one's going to laugh at your ears."
"Even though they are unusually big."
|MEANWHILE. . .|
|"SHUT UP! Shut up, you snotty-nosed brat or I swear I'm going to. . . !"
"Stop! We'll have none of that on my ship."
|"A slight power fluctuation. Switch on power cell B. Reroute overflow through conduit J-12."||"How did we get on the bridge?"|
|"Look deeply into my eyes. This is a good parody. You like this parody. You will bestow rave reviews of this parody everywhere you go. You will feel guilty about reading it for free and send me $50."||"I will send you $50."||"AH!"|
|"You could have asked to use our facilities."||"Aye. Or ya could just hold it for three years the way I do."||"At the tone the stardate will be 5730.25."
|"There's no heat coming from this furnace."||"I'm a-callin' you out, pardner."||"I will not let you pull my finger."|
|"You have to learn to get along. You have so much in common. You both look good in tights."||"Say, wha?"
|"They have both beamed down to the planet."||"Let's get the hell out of here before they decide to come back."|