Mike Golden Spoofs
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|WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
|The Mark of Gideon
|"Highly unusual for the captain to go down alone."||"They must have liked my dashing good looks."||"Hey, where is everybody?"|
|"Dear God! I must be in the Twilight Zone again."|
|"It isn't my birthday so that rules out
a surprise party. Hmm, as long as no one's around, I've always wanted to
go through Yeoman Rand's underwear drawer."
|"We have no idea where your captain is, Mr. Spock. Now, if you'll excuse me, we have to rehearse our tumbling act for our circus performance tonight."||"You don't recognize me? I'm the sexual tension that gets locked up
in here with you wearing clothes that remind you of women's underwear."
"Sorry. It's been awhile since a woman and myself have been locked up."
|"Oh, you poor thing."||"We still can't find the captain."||"Did you try the linen closet. Sometimes my chief of staff hides in there."|
|"There goes the theory that bald men are sexy."||"We're on the Enterprise and we're not on the Enterprise."||"You want to run that by me again?"|
|"Mmm, smooth as a baby's bottom."||"You want me to do, what?"||"Kiss me."|
|"EEEEK!"||"All those mindless, drooling humanoids staring blankly at their video monitor screens. It's hideous!"|
|"I think I'm going to faint."||"The ratings for this new reality TV show are through the roof. I wonder if we can shanghai another Starfleet captain for next week's episode."||"For a little thing, you're kind of heavy."|
|"Congratulations, captain. You won
|"I'm flattered that you want me to star on your TV show but, trust me, I'm no actor."||"Oh, no you don't. I'm not falling for that phoney fainting spell twice."|
|"Captain, you go to great lengths just for a sweet piece of ass."||"If you are calling to place an order, press 1. If you are calling for more information, press 2."||"Now, we can be together forever and ever."
"Or, at least, until next week."
|"Ladies and gentlemen, we at Desilu Studios would like to take this opportunity to apologize for this episode. It is clear that TV is going to Hell in a handbasket. Hold on to the good stuff as long as you can."|