RIP-Factor
StarCrap
RIP-Factor
Mike Golden Spoofs
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WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
Metamorphosis
"Mr. Spock, don't tell you-know-who but I think we're lost." "I think we should have taken a right at Alberquerque." "I told you to stop and ask for directions but, would you listen to me?"
"Madam, I haven't been in a situation yet my charm and devilish good looks couldn't get me out of." "Oh, yeah. My hair is perfect as usual." "There's something outside. Quick, turn out the lights and maybe it'll think we're not at home."
"I just hope it isn't a Jehovah's Witness." "If you think I'm going out there, you're crazy. It's a thousand wonders you didn't kill us all with that landing."
"Do you do anything besides bitch, bitch, bitch?"
"Okay. Remember where we parked."
"It appears to be a man." "A man? Where?" "Hi, I'm Zefrem Cochran."
"Well, I'm sure Dr. McCoy has something that'll fix you right up."
"Ooo, you banged her up good!
What'd you do? Run into a planetoid?"
"This is an old model. Might be hard getting parts for her." "That was my supplier on the phone. He said that he just sold the last carburetor for that model."
"Not surprised he can't get anything to grow in his garden. The soil is played out."
"Yes, alot of wind erosion, also."
"Uh, guys? What the hell is that, do you suppose?"
"That's the Companion. It's my, well, companion."
"Well, I'll be switched. You DO have a heart." "God no! Say it isn't so!" "Why me ! Why me!
"Get ahold of yourself or I'm going to."
"Go talk to the companion. Maybe
she knows where we can find a carburetor."
"This is the part vhere ve dance." "Captain, you have GOT to try the little blue mushrooms."
"Tickle, tickle, tickle." "Mr. Scott, I'm sensing something down on the planet." "Captain Kirk, why do you speak through that long, round thing?"
"It's how men of my species communicate."
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto." "I will fix your carburetor and heal the female. Heaven knows if you want something done right, ask a woman." "Gentlemen, no matter how far you travel or what species they are, all women are alike."
"It's amazing, Jim! She's totally heartless." "I never noticed before how weird looking you are." "Zefrem, what is chocolate?"
"Beam us up, Scotty." "A little send off, captain."
Happy trails to you. Until we meet again.