Mike Golden Spoofs
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|WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
|"We're going to have to cut this meeting short, captain. Sweetums is in the mood, if you know what I mean."||"Yes, I'm sorry to hear that. We need those dilithium mining rights."||"We'll continue negotiations in a couple of days."|
|"Stop, in the name of love! Before you break my heart."|
|"There's something different about you, Mr. Spock. Did you get a haircut?"||"Oh, yes! Hurt me! You almost make me forget Mistress Laura!"||"It would appear that we are in an alternate universe, Lt. It may be that blacks and whites are expected to mate. Be ready."
"But, sir, what about Lazarus?"
|"I don't suppose you could just let me slip in then slip out?"
"No, sir. This latrine is for enlisted men only."
|"Kewl. This chair vibrates."||"Please, captain. I'll contact you when Sweetums and I are finished."|
|"Kiptin, you would look much better if you didn't tie your sash so tight."
"Did somebody say something?"
|"Yeah, bully for you."||"Ignore this."|
|"Put your hands down dumbass.
You're on our side."
|"It's o. k., buddy. I didn't mean to hit you in the stomach that hard."|
|"The female is administering the required punishment."||"Wish she would punish me like that."|
|"Before you ask, I'm happy to see you."||"Alright, doctor. But this better be quick."||"I don't know what's wrong with me. I've had hot flashes all day."|
|"I thought you wanted me, Uhura?"
"Not all of you."
|"The photon thingamajig broke off the subspace whatchamacallit."||"Live long and prosper, Spock."|
|"Eat shit and die, Jim."||"Why are you staring at my hair like that?"||"Someone you know, captain?"
"Give me five minutes alone with her and I will."