Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
Mirror, Mirror
"We're going to have to cut this meeting short, captain. Sweetums is in the mood, if you know what I mean." "Yes, I'm sorry to hear that. We need those dilithium mining rights." "We'll continue negotiations in a couple of days."
"Stop, in the name of love! Before you break my heart."
"There's something different about you, Mr. Spock. Did you get a haircut?" "Oh, yes! Hurt me! You almost make me forget Mistress Laura!" "It would appear that we are in an alternate universe, Lt. It may be that blacks and whites are expected to mate. Be ready."
"But, sir, what about Lazarus?"
"I don't suppose you could just let me slip in then slip out?"
"No, sir. This latrine is for enlisted men only."
"Kewl. This chair vibrates." "Please, captain. I'll contact you when Sweetums and I are finished."
"Kiptin, you would look much better if you didn't tie your sash so tight."
"Did somebody say something?"
"Yeah, bully for you." "Ignore this."
"Put your hands down dumbass.
You're on our side."
"It's o. k., buddy. I didn't mean to hit you in the stomach that hard."
"The female is administering the required punishment." "Wish she would punish me like that."
"Before you ask, I'm happy to see you." "Alright, doctor. But this better be quick." "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've had hot flashes all day."
"I thought you wanted me, Uhura?"
"Not all of you."
"The photon thingamajig broke off the subspace whatchamacallit." "Live long and prosper, Spock."
"Eat shit and die, Jim." "Why are you staring at my hair like that?" "Someone you know, captain?"
"Give me five minutes alone with her and I will."