Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
Mudd's Women
"And that, captain, is why Vulcan females are superior to human females. Now, as to Vulcan males. Captain, where are you going?" "Security is too tight to gain access to vital systems but this will do." BEEP BEEP BEEP
"My God! All the new toilets are backing up." "Engineering to Bridge. Captain, I
got my, uh, thumb stuck in the hole again."
"You manhandle me like that, sailor, you'd better buy me dinner first."
"Interesting. I believe humans have an expression, "damn Japanese"? "He appears to be asleep, captain."
"And, since he isn't wearing a red shirt, there's nothing we can do." "Harcourt Fenton Mudd. So, that WAS your ship the Enterprise saw." "Yes, the galaxy is 100,000 light years across and I just happen to fly by where you were. Quite astonishing really, isn't it?"
"So, your job is to stand around all day stroking this thing? Fascinating." "My word, Kirk! Light a match!" "There's more where that came from if you don't give me back my ship."
"Do, a deer, a female deer. Re, a
drop of golden sun."
"And they can make one this long. It's a man's dream." "Do they have any moor?"
"This is my Gilligan impersonation" "Who is Gilligan." "Harcourt Fenton Mudd, you worthless, no good scourge, you'd better pull my finger."
"What is the significance of this 'pull my finger'?" "You've never had your finger pulled?" "They have so much to learn."
"Captain, will ya be saving some for the rest of us?" "Mr. Chekov, do your floating
commie trick."
"Interesting. A little logic and they both go to sleep. Accurate to the smallest detail."
"Uh, captain, we found where they keep the super glue." "Oh, yeah, man. More Pink Floyd, please." "You know, that hair-do really doesn't do you any favors."
"Harcourt Fenton Mudd, why won't you pull my finger, you worthless
space slug?"
"And another thing, where have you been all this time?" "We messed him up good this time, gang."