Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
By Any Other Name
"Two humanoid lifeform readings that way."
"You mean, those two people there?"
"Here they come. Ask them for directions."
"I don't need to ask for directions."
"It's a shame we froze these two so soon. I'd like to see where this was heading." "What the bloody hell are you looking at?" "We have to do something."
"What do you suggest, doctor? Build a fire and sing Row, Row, Row Your Boat?"
"Am I the only one here that feels a draft?"
"Could you try to mind link with our guard?"
"I am one with the rock." "Do I smell ribs?"
"One beer and she's out like a light." "One is the female and one is the male."
"I can see where that would come in handy with women but not men. It'll never sell."
"Great. What am I going to do with a tall, lanky black man?" "Jim, ever notice that whenever we get out together we almost invariably end up in jail?" "Spock, I have an idea."
"Not now, Jim. I have a headache." "Let's see what we have here. The neck bone is connected to the shoulder bone. The shoulder bone is connected to the arm bone." "We're going to Andromeda."
"Strange how you call it by the same name."
"Strange how you always feel like you forgot something going on a long trip." "Flash our high beams until they turn their lights down." "Walking down the hall reminds me of my childhood in Iowa."
"I'm so angry I could kiss that blond."
"I'm even angrier."
"What do we do now, Mr. Scott?"
"Laddy, it's time I taught ye how to
do something humans have been doing for centuries. It's called 'puking'."
"Sir, I just realized something. If we've never seen humans before, how did we know what they looked like to disguise ourselves like them?"
"Damn, this chick has a long tongue." "Not the face! Not the face!" "Stop fighting before one of us loses his hairpiece."
"Now, let's head for home."