Mike Golden Spoofs
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|WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
|"If the captain wasn't so cheap he'd buy a REAL bug zapper."||"Alright! Who farted?"||"Ack! ::cough cough:: Gak!"|
|"Scotty, call Starfleet Command and tell them to send us three more security officers."||"I don't know if you've been told yet but you people need to get a life."||"What happened?"
"I smelled sulfur just before the attack."
|"It sucked out all his red blood cells."
"And now he's going to die."
"Do you have to talk like that right in front of me?"
|"You got here fast."
"I was already on my way. You lose men so regular, Starfleet Command sets its calendar by it."
|"They're dead, sir."|
|"Whatever it was, it was silent but deadly."||"So, now I have to have these meetings by myself?"||"Captain, I dunno if I wantcha on the bridge. For the sake of the crew, of course."
"Don't worry. I won't ask anybody to pull my finger. I've had complaints they were getting stale, anyhow."
|"I didn't want to fly this dumb, ole ship, anyway."||"You wanted to see us, sir?"||"I really need somebody to. . . . Oh, never mind."|
|"There it goes."||"Captain, it's travelling faster than light."||"No effect. I forgot. Methane won't burn without oxygen."|
|"It's attacking!"||"Chili Night will never be the same."||"It's gone. So is the sulfur smell."|
|"Attention all hands. This is the captain. If anyone smells even a hint
of sulfur, run screaming for your lives."
|"Quite frankly, doctor, I find the
whole situation very ironic."
|"There's alot of interference, Scotty. Let me move the antigrav unit a little."|
|"Captain, it is illogical for you to be there now since ANY matter, even the air, would cause that antimatter to explode."||"Spock, don't point out the plot holes. That's an order."||"Shoo! Stinky!"|
|"Ah, fresh air."||"I just had an idea for something new to do on a Saturday night."|