Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
A Piece of the Action
"Jim, are we there yet?" "Well, there's the yellow fire hydrant."
"Anybody care to guess why it's yellow?"
"Captain, I'd rather not take the bus. Call it a bad feeling."
"Alright, hand it over. We're collecting for the Teamster's Union." "I said, 'turn down that damn car stereo'!" "I guess they really don't like rap music here."
"I love a man that knows how to handle his rod." "I don't care if you're not gay. You're marching in the parade, like it or not." "I don't have any money but I'll tell you what. I'll bet my first officer against your five bucks."
"But, first, a bit of the old soft shoe." "Son, don't quit your day job." "Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed."
"Hi, cutie. Let's get to know each other better. If you know what I mean. Call me."
"Jim, we have to get out of here. Any ideas?"
::frrrrrt:: "Nope."
"Strange how all these humanoids have main nerve branches in the same place." "Okay, buddy, your money or your life."
"Take my wife. Please."
"Alright, you guys. We're gonna hit 'em and hit 'em hard, see? Yeah." "Spock, check out her ass." "And, now, the end is near and so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear. I'll state my case of which I'm certain."
"These darts are defective. They
won't stick."
"Kirk, I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse." "Come over to our side and you can have Lulu there. She doesn't mind. She's been had many times before."
"Damn! Somebody already got the bubble gum." "Is that you, Myrtle? How's every little thing?" "Captain, have I ever told you how becoming you look in pinstripes?"
"Not today, Spock."
"Captain, isn't there an old Earth custom about not shooting someone in the back?" "Kirk, what do you think you're doing?"
"Kirk, what do you think you're doing?"
"Stop mocking me!"
"Stop mocking me!"
"You want to see something REALLY scary?"
"This is my Don Knotts impersonation." "Alright, we'll do whatever you ask." "I knew they'd see it our way. Because, I'm the Kirk. He-e-e-ey!"