Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
Spectre of the Gun
"Satellite dead ahead, sir." "It appears to be some sort of traffic signal." "It's red. All engines stop."
"Okay, helm. Move it or lose it." "I think this calls for a trip down to a planet." "That's an angry-looking red planet."
"I'm not sure where we are but I can narrow it down to either L. A. or Frisco." "We are in Tombstone , Arizona circa 1880. Now, if you'll follow me, I'll show you a saloon where the cowboys would go to drink and carouse." "I knew Wyatt Earp couldn't scare you boys away."
"I've always dreamed of Wyatt Earp pulling my finger." "I wouldn't ask him if I were you." "Jim, they just threw this man into the street."
"Yes, sounds like my kind of bar."
"That so reminds me of when we were in Texas, captain."
"Draw, pardner." "Kewl, they're fighting over me." "Ah! Izzums going to shoot us wif it's wittle gun?"
"If you like her, I can let you have her for, say, two bits an hour."
"Twenty-five cents? That's highway robbery."
"Can't we just all get along?"
"Okay, your hands are clean. Now, let's see that neck." "Captain, I'm beginning to have very bad cramps."
"Spock, tell me you didn't eat the chili."
"I want to make love to you."
"Okay, I'm ready." "OW! It burns, it burns!" "Ya got another one o' those bad boys, Mr. Spock?"
"Cap'n, I rearry rike this beer stuff. Goes down smoo-oo-oo-ooth." "I hope this wind doesn't blow my toupee off." "Excuse me, Mr Scott. But, I can't listen to your nose whistle any longer."
"Alright, boys. Drill 'em. I mean, shoot 'em, Wyatt." "I think you know what to do." "I'm just too good for words."