Mike Golden Spoofs
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|WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE: Karl Stahmer
INTRO BY: joesmaname
|A Private Little War
|"Hey, check it out! There are two chicks down there sunbathing."||"Captain, I'll be finished dumping this toxic waste in a few minutes."||"Great. I just finished dumping some of my own behind a bush. Really wish we still had paper."|
|"I wish I hadn't lost my binoculars."||"Come listen to my story about a man named Jed."||"Well, Mr. Spock, I guess it's a good thing you were bent over at the time. From now on, leave the mooning to me."
"That's NOT what I was doing, doctor."
|"I told you never to call me here."||"Blast, woman! There be no 'pooh bear' here. Are ya sure you have the right number?"||"Well, Jim, I don't think anybody saw us beam down."
"Bones, just out of curiosity, would you look under my foot and see what I'm standing in?"
|"It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater."||"Oh, baby! You are so good!"||"Stop it, Jim! That's not natural!"|
|"Beam us up. The captain tried to get his groove on with one of the locals."
"Please deposit 25 credits for the next three minutes."
|"Hey, you! Come here and pull my finger!"||"How are you feeling, Jim?"
"Rmf, murfl mmhm urf."
|"Let me nibble on your ear."||"Can I nibble on the other one?"||"Oh, yes! His chest feels as smooth as a baby's bottom."|
|"Tyree, bring me a cigarette."||"Would you be interested in a
manage á troi?"
|"Quick! Come around here and pull my finger."|
|"No, I'm not a woman pretending to
be a man."
|"Right. And I don't dress in women's clothing."||"I always wanted to do Treasure Island."|
|::SNORE::||"My God, Scotty!"
"I know, lass. Just stay away from him."
|"Jim, have you swallowed that medicine I gave you yet?"|
|"Mmhmm."||"Hot dog! Wer havin' 'possum stew tonight."||"Give me some of that wild monkey."|
|"That's not what I meant."||"Stop! Today you use a rock as a weapon but what about tomorrow?"||"Mr. Scott, please explain to me again how a stripper on the bridge will improve crew performance."|