Mike Golden Spoofs
WRITTEN BY: Mike Golden
INTRO BY: joesmaname
For the World is Hollow, and I Have Touched the Sky
"Incoming missiles." "FIRE!"
"Direct hit. That'll teach those warsies." "I am not drunk, you quack. And if you say that again, I'll punch your lights out." "Something oddly familiar about this landscape."
"Take that, you bushwhacking sidewinder." "For an alien, you're kind of cute." "We're number 1."
"This is where we talk to our god. His name is Bob." "What do you think, Jim?"
"She's got a nice ass."
"I was on the survey ship S. S. Columbia when we developed engine trouble and crashed here."
"There's only one way out. These five magic beans will help us escape." "He was a good man and now he's dead." "Well, we can't mourn forever."
"Before we exchange bodily fluids, there's something you must know about me. I'm only female from the waist up." "But, I'm fully functional in every respect." "As long as yours isn't bigger than mine, who cares?"
"You say the sweetest things." "Spock, is that the proper place for your thumb?"
"This whole setup looks very alien." "Nothing gets passed you, does it, captain?"
"What I'd give to be standing in front of her right now. What a waste." "Captain, it's making us black."
"Spock, shoot me now. Please. I'll never make it as a black man."
"Leonard, I'm so happy to be near you again."
"Yes, I can tell."
"Don't look now but I think we're being followed." "This is our sacred text. The Best of The National Enquirer." "You know, I can fix those crow's feet for you."
"It's cooking us alive, Spock. Do something." "Maybe this book can help." "Oh, yeah. Right on the money. The National Enquirer was a highly underrated publication."
"You were the best I've had. I will miss you." "I will never love like that again."